In honor of this silliest of days, here’s something I wrote for Penthouse Magazine a few years back. And no, there are no beaver shots to be found.
My wife Kambri Crews has written an amazing book called Burn Down the Ground about her nutty childhood in the woods of Texas, her deaf family and relationship with her dad who is in jail for attempted murder. (As a point of reference, check out the track “The Murder Tree” from Au Contraire!).
Don’t believe me? Well the reviews are in and they’re raves!
“Poignant and unsettling.” —Kirkus Reviews
“Crews’ story has heartbreaking depth and complexity… this is a rich read.” —Library Journal
“Harrowing . . . A remarkable odyssey of scorched earth, collateral damage, and survival.” —Publishers Weekly
“A compelling testament to the strength of the human spirit.”—Booklist
You should order it. Seriously, do it now, so you can feel superior to everyone who will be jumping on the bandwagon after its February 28, 2012 release date.
WARNING: Before reading Burn Down The Ground, tie a piece of rope around your head long-ways. Otherwise, you may be injured by the sheer force of your dropping jaw.
Read an excerpt online at Scribd.com
Click here for a list of other online stores pre-selling the memoir.
This coming Monday 11/14 at 11pm, I will be appearing on “Conan”. Yes, THAT Conan! I will be performing a brief assortment of stand up comedies at the end of the show, as is the “late night TV” custom. Will I look snazzy? YES! Will I be performing new, unreleased material? YES! Will I be funny? WE SHALL SEE! In all seriousness, I’ve been an ardent Conan O’Brien fan from the very beginning, so this is kind of a special night for me. I’d be honored if you would tune in. Check out http://teamcoco.com for more info.
People will someday look back on this video as the moment their Benevolent, All-Knowing Overlord first made his political intentions known to the world. CNN: Christian Finnegan: Example of ‘U.S. whiteness’
Good day, visitors to ChristianFinnegan.com. It’s been far too long, I know!
I just wanted to drop you a quick note to inform/remind you that I am in the cast of the new TBS sitcom “ARE WE THERE YET?”, debuting on TBS at 10pm EST. Check it out, yo: http://www.tbs.com/shows/arewethereyet/
It would be swell if you’d tune in and watch. It’s a fine show that’s fun for the whole family (no, seriously) and I feel honored to be associated with such talented, hardworking people.
Full disclosure: I’m only in one scene in the first episode or two, but I’m all over later episodes. DID SOMEONE SAY DVR SEASON PASS??
No really, did someone just say that? I think I’m hearing voices.
Anyway, tune into ARE WE THERE YET?, Wednesday nights at 10PM EST/ 9:00 PM CST on TBS!
Sincerely,
Christian Finnegan
America’s White Guy
Where will I be next week? DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS! See what I did there? I took the name of a popular regional tune and worked into a promotional email. Yeah, I’m that good.
Anyhoo, let’s get to the point: Next week I’ll be doing a three-city swing through your glorious state–I figure this may be my last chance to perform in Texas before Rick Perry forces you guys to secede. So if you live in Austin, Houston or Dallas, please come on out to a show. These shows will be ONE NIGHT ONLY! So put down your BBQ and/or margarita and get yourself a ticket (or nine)!
The relevant dates/details:
Tuesday 06/02/09 – Austin, TX
Alamo Drafthouse Cinema
Time: 8:00pm
Admission: $15.00.
Box office: 512.219.5408.
http://www.drafthouse.com/lakecreek/
Wednesday 06/03/09 – Houston, TX
The Houston Improv
8:00pm.
Admission: $15.00.
Box office: 713.333.8800.
http://www.symfonee.com/Improv/houston/home/index.aspxn
Thursday 06/04/09 – Dallas, TX
Hyena’s Comedy Club
Time: 10:30pm.
Admission: $10/$15
Box office: 214.823.5233.
http://www.hyenascomedynightclub.com/Dallas/hyenas-dallas.html
These shows are all a part of my “Au Contraire!” tour, in support of the life-altering DVD of the same name. It can be found and ogled over here: http://www.christianfinnegan.com/store
And if you would like to see a preview or just peruse other Finnegan-related nonsense, go to christianfinnegan.com!
That’s all for now, Texas. Next week, we get silly!
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
So you’re still on the fence about whether to pick up “Au Contraire!”. Well, from now until Tuesday you can download an audio track from the CD for free. That’s right, FREE. As in, NO MONEY WHATSOEVER!
But this free download is only available until Tuesday, so quick like a bunny, go here and feast your ears on “High Five Yourself”.
And while you’re there, why not submit a positive review of said free download? It’ll make you feel super cool.
People,
The time of reckoning is nigh at hand! After months and months of constant chatter and horsepoop from me about my “new DVD”, I’m happy to say that “Au Contraire” finally hits stores today May 12, 2009. Go see for yourself! Or if you’re some sort of shut-in who stores your urine in jars, you can order it online right here!
So now’s your chance, people. Please don’t make me go back to hooking.
My one hour comedy special, “Au Contraire!”, debuts on Comedy Central tonight at 11pm est.
Man it feels good to type that. It also makes me feel like I might crap my pants. But mostly, it feels good.
I’m not going to waste a bunch of your time here. Please tune in. It’s not just that I think you’ll enjoy the special (you will!), it’s just that…well…
Look I promised the police I wouldn’t talk about this, but Comedy Central has kidnapped my five year old son. It’s true. They tell me that unless “Au Contraire!” gets at least a .8 Neilson rating, I will never see little Timothy again. Those people are heartless bastards and they mean business! I see no other option but to play ball, so I’m asking…nay, BEGGING you to tune into Comedy Central tonight at 11pm EST. Barring that, you can set your DVR recording devices. Please, people–Timothy doesn’t have his inhaler. HOW LONG CAN HE POSSIBLY SURVIVE????
If for some reason you care nothing about my dear son’s life, you can still pre-order the full “Au Contraire!” DVD on Amazon. It comes out this Tuesday, May 12th. It’s 33% longer than what will air on Comedy Central tonight and it includes all sorts of kooky extras. Go here: http://tinyurl.com/prw7lg
Or, if you don’t want to have to look at my stupid Irish head, the album version is currently available for download on iTunes.
What else is there to say?
Oh, I know: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Regards,
Christian Finnegan
“Au Contraire!” is now available in audio form on iTunes. Give it a look-see and maybe even write me a friendly review? You’d be my bestest buddy ever. Oh, you want a hyperlink? I got yer hyperlink…RIGHT HERE!
- 05/17/12 - 05/19/12 in in Mashantucket, CT at Comix at Foxwoods
- 06/07/12 - 06/10/12 in in Miami, FL at The Miami Improv
- 06/22/12 - 06/24/12 in in Atlanta, GA at The Punchline
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